Welcome to New Joysey: Launch Day is Here!
Conglomni Corp is pleased to inform you that as of today, October 16, the New Joysey Dimension Pack is officially open for business in Dimensional Double Shift. For only $4.99 on Meta Quest, you and your crew can clock in and punch out on the most dazzling, greasy, slightly alarming boardwalk this side of reality.
Now with free new wallpapers to add to your collection at the end of this article!
This isn’t just another expansion. It’s a one-way ticket to a place where the sunsets are pink, the sands are sparkly, and the air smells suspiciously like fried dough and car exhaust. And that’s exactly how the locals like it.
A Dimension That Runs on Sass and Sodium
You wanted character, you GOT character! New Joysey is alive with classic boardwalk shops and attractions, sparkling sands, and an ocean speckled with neon industrial waste that's not THAT toxic, all thriving in a pastel smog that definitely adds “atmosphere.” Take in the sights while you dodge seagulls, decipher beach plane skywriting through the haze, and wonder if the tide is supposed to glow that color.
The Conglomni Corp guarantee: it’s all perfectly safe-ish for consumer use.
Gameplay That’s Hotter Than the Fryer
This Dimension comes with a new batch of modules designed to keep you busy, laughing, and probably wiping grease off your headset:
Fryer of Fortune – Spin your fate, hope your cholesterol forgives you.
Pizza Pie Oven – The pie’s spinning, the stakes are high. Who ordered “upside-down surprise”?
Boardwalk Fireworks – Light ’em up, aim ’em away from your coworkers, and watch the chaos unfold.
Four-Player Water Stream Showdown – Our very first four-player-only module. Test your aim, and remember, hydration is a competition now.
And because Conglomni Corp knows you crave “responsibility,” we’ve got some specialty roles just for this Dimension.
Meet the Four New Roles
The Heavy – Comes with an inflatable hammer and the kind of “problem-solving skills” that make HR nervous.
Power Player – Dispenses energy and attitude. Runs on equal parts juice and ego.
The Cleaner – Soda? Gasoline? Who can really tell. Don’t ask questions you don’t want answered.
The Mint – Produces only the most legitimate money. Also fireworks. Perfect combo.
Of course, this wouldn’t be New Joysey without a few extra goodies tucked into the back room. Crack a safe that definitely belongs to you, test your compatibility with the Luv Tester (always accurate, never scientific), and get that car running, because it obviously can’t stay parked here.
Locals With Big Mouths and Bigger Opinions
New Joysey residents are passionate people! Maybe TOO passionate? Expect Diner regulars more blunt than a tire-iron, “helpful” bystanders with colorful commentary, and the occasional old friend who remembers your debts better than you do. Handle them right, and you’ll be the hero of the boardwalk! Handle them wrong, and you’ll be cooked like a fresh order of pizza pie.
This is customer service, Joysey-style.
what’s a girl gotta do to get a calzone around here, huh?
One Pays, All Play
As always, only one member of your squad needs to snag the New Joysey Dimension Pack for the whole crew to experience it. Because what’s the point of a calzone the size of a car battery if you can’t share it with friends?
Shift On Over the Bridge
New Joysey is live right now. So grab your headset, grab your crew, and maybe grab some antacids. Conglomni Corp officially invites you to clock in where the pizza is plentiful, the fireworks are unregulated, and the locals never let you forget that it’s Joysey, not Jersey.
See you on the boardwalk. And remember: validate your parking, or else.
Shift on into Dimensional Double Shift: New Joysey today!
Enjoy your free wallpapers!
