A DECADE OF JOB SIMULATION (AND YOU’RE STILL EMPLOYED… SOMEHOW)

A DECADE OF JOB SIMULATION (AND YOU’RE STILL EMPLOYED… SOMEHOW)

Ten years ago, Job Simulator asked a simple question: “What if humans… worked?”

The answer? Unclear. Chaotic. Slightly on fire. Hugely successful and totally legal.

Now, a full decade later, we’re proud to celebrate 10 years of optimal workplace efficiency, minimally acknowledged emotional distress, and the highly encouraged practice of throwing objects directly at robotic supervisors.

And because we are a generous corporation, we’re rewarding your continued existence with something extremely valuable:

JOBBOT INVADES DIMENSIONAL DOUBLE SHIFT IN STYLE (LIMITED-TIME ONLY)

That’s right, valued employee.

For a limited time you can equip the official JobBot Anniversary Hat™, wearable symbol of:

  • 10 years of questionable labor practices

  • 10 years of throwing donuts

  • 10 years of doing your best (which HR has noted is “concerning”)

HOW TO RECEIVE COMPENSATION (HAT):

  • Log into Dimensional Double Shift

  • Exist within the game environment

  • Hat dispensed automatically (no forms required… this time)

⚠️ Disclaimer: Hat does not improve job performance. Or does it? Internal studies inconclusive.

ANNIVERSARY STREAM: TWO CEOwls IN THE SAME ROOM?!

Two men stand in front of a wooden wall with an “Owlchemy Labs” sign, smiling and shaking hands, suggesting a professional or celebratory moment in a studio or office setting.

For one day only, we are unlocking archived leadership units:

  • Andrew Eiche (Current CEOwl)

  • Devin Reimer (Former CEOwl)

Together. Live. Unsupervised.*

Join us for a special anniversary stream where we’ll revisit the origin of Job Simulator, share behind-the-scenes stories (legally approved versions), and reflect on how we got here… and why we didn’t stop you.

There may even be some announcements. You’ll have to watch us on Twitch and see 👀

Supervision pending.

“OUT OF THE CLOSET” COSPLAY INITIATIVE (ALL APRIL LONG)

We’re taking inspiration from the bravest innovator of our time:
The “I found this in my house and now I’m a character” school of cosplay.

Introducing:

OUT OF THE CLOSET COSPLAY MONTH

All April, we’re inviting YOU to become JobBot (or anything Job Simulator adjacent) using:

  • Items you already own

  • Zero pressure

  • Maximum chaos

Think:

  • A tie + a bowl = Corporate Cuisine Bot

  • Sunglasses + a stapler = Totally Legit Manager

  • Literally just vibes = Accurate Human Representation

Share your creations on social and tag us! We’ll be spotlighting our favorites all month long! Or, drop on into our Discord in the #CommunityArt channel for even more shenanigans. Because if there’s one thing we know, it’s that if you shenan once you’ll most definitely shenan-again. 

No gatekeeping. No perfection. Just pure, unfiltered creativity.

MORE WAYS WE’RE CELEBRATING

This isn’t just a moment. It’s a whole initiative.

Throughout April, expect:

  • Deep-dive blogs exploring the history of Job Simulator

  • Dev stories, retrospectives, and “how did this even happen?” moments

  • Additional surprises (HR says we can’t say more)

  • Community highlights featuring YOUR favorite memories

FROM CONGLOMNI CORP (THIS IS THE EMOTIONAL PART)

For 10 years, you’ve shown up. You’ve played. You’ve broken things. You’ve made us laugh in ways we absolutely did not anticipate (yet appreciate more than you’ll ever know).

And somehow, through all of that… you made Job Simulator what it is today.

So from all of us here at Conglomni Corp:

Thank you for your continued service.
Please enjoy your hat.

END OF MEMO
You may now return to your assigned dimension.

< Back to blog